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11:06 _ 29-03-2024

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Being a Pious Buddhist to My Parents

I. I Hear:

I remembered having been taught that as children, we have to love, respect, and obey our parents and that’s the way it must be. While there’s no dispute that my parents brought me into this world and brought me up, I do have trouble thinking about them in terms of obligation. Obligation limits my freedom especially in matters concerning relationships.

II. I Contemplate:

Loving my parents is a privilege:

I never thought that having parents around is a privilege until my father passed away before I turned 6 years old. It’s no surprise that I don’t remember much about my father and seeing children with their fathers always touches me in a deep way. Having both parents to me is a privilege, especially if they both are young, healthy, and loving. Tomorrow we may lose them due to a divorce. And certainly some day sickness and death will eventually claim both of them. Thus it would be wise for me to treasure the time we have together here and now. When my mother gives me a little trouble nowadays, I contemplate about her liveliness and good health at the age over 80 and find comfort that I still have her around. I missed many years of not being able to feel this way while living in the same house with my mother. Instead of being grateful, I took things for granted and didn’t appreciate that mothers are miraculous and magic. Now that I find treasure in my mother, loving her and expressing my love for her becomes easy.

What the Buddha taught us about piety?

The Buddha taught that when I am pious to my parents, I also pay respect to the Buddha. Buddhismteaches me to lead my life with compassion for all: people, animals, plants, and even minerals. Naturally, to love and respect my parents deepens my compassion for all. Moreover, I believe that my parents and I could share a tie in a previous life and I should do my best to honor an engagement thus previously made. In an earlier reincarnation, the Buddha was a prince whose generosity was unparalleled. He would give away anything he had just for the asking, including his own children. But he vowed not to give his parents away. To practice compassion as taught by the Buddha, I learn to truly love myself by taking care of my thought, speech, and action. Next I project my compassion to my loved ones whom naturally include my parents. Then I project my compassion to others. Thus loving my parents is most natural next to loving myself.

My parents’ happiness contributes to my happiness and vice versa:

In me, there are elements of my parents and there also are elements of my ancestors, both physical and spiritual. I cannot be happy while my parents suffer; to make my parents happy contributes to my happiness. Being pious to my parents is no longer an obligation since loving them contributes to my spiritual welfare. Since my parents are in me, when I smile, my parents in me are happy. And when I walk-meditate, my parents in me find peace. Lucky are the youngsters who find ways to touch the parents in them since that gives them an important perspective about their bodies and minds.

III. I Practice:

Being pious to my parents in my youth:

As a young person, I often felt bound by my parents being old fashioned, controlling, and unreasonable. In fact, in a survey, a group of Vietnamese teenagers were quoted to have said that they "disliked" their parents. What brought about this startling emotion? I honestly believe that my parents love me but often such love does not get expressed nor comprehended. I vow to look deeply and listen intently to truly understand my parents because I know that true understanding reveals their love for me and also brings about my love for them. In my youth, I did not accomplish that and I now vow to overcompensate for it.

Being pious to my parents in my adulthood:

Now that I am married and have a home and my own children, I easily let my busy schedule detract from spending time with my parents. To make up for that, I intend that every minute spending with parents to be of quality. In addition, I make available the quality time that my parents share with my family. I also show my children the interconnectedness among the generations: ancestors, offspring, and ourselves.

Being pious to my parents in their later years:

When my parents get much older, their needs become more spiritual. Plus I remember the Buddha’s teachings about the importance of near-death karma: their thoughts and actions as they near the end constitute the strongest force in leading them from this life. Consequently, I make available time for them to be close to the Three Jewels: the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. I’m committed that my parents find peace in their later years and find refuge in the Three Jewels. Discussion:

Sơ Thiện

1.     Lịch Sử Đức Phật Thích Ca Từ Xuất Gia Đến Nhập Diệt
The History Of Gautama Buddha From Monkshood To Nirvana

2.     Đức Phật A-Di-Đà
A-Di-Đà Buddha (Amitabha)

3.     Đức Quán Thế Âm Bồ Tát
Quán-Thế-Âm (Bodhisattva)

4.     Sáu Phép Hòa Kính
The Six Rules of Harmony

5.     Bốn Ân
The Four Gratitude

6.     Năm Giới
The Five Precepts

7.     Bốn Nhiếp Pháp
The Four Assistant Methods

8.     Hiểu và Thuộc Nghi Thức Thông Thường
Understand and Remember The Common Ceremony

9.     Ý Nghĩa Cờ Phật Giáo
The Meaning Of The Buddhist Flag

10.  Người Nông Dân Phản Bội
The Disloyal Peasant

11.  Con Khỉ Có Lòng Từ Bi
The Great-Hearted Monkey

12.  Vua Si-Vi
King Si-Vi

13.  Nghệ Thuật Nghe Pháp Thoại
How To Listen To Dharma Talk

14.  Hạnh Lắng Nghe
Listening Quality

15.  Chữ Hiếu Trong Đạo Phật
Being A Pious Buddhist To My Parents